Lord, I do not know what on earth you are thinking. Why have you put this bug in my head?? I DO NOT WANT TO BE A MINISTER!!!!!!!! no NO no! So you have to help me here. What qualifies me for this? If you say you qualify me for this that's just not fair. What business do I have trying to lead anyone ever when I am so hopelessly lost myself?? I can't even begin to list the ways in which I am inadequate for this task. So Lord, if this is truly what you want for me...I will follow. But right now I don't like it. I don't want it. I can't think of anyone more ill suited than me. But as Samuel said:
Speak, Lord. I am your servant and I am listening. I am listening. I will serve wherever and however you ask me to, because I love you. Your will above mine, my faith that truly, all things do work together for good for those who serve you. My desire that all of your children will find a relationship with you. So yes, whatever you ask of me, I will do. But right now, I am not sure how I feel about it. No, I am sure how I feel about it. I'm angry about it. I thought we were doing something different together, you and I. But I will keep listening. Show me the way. Show me your will.
