Today, Lord, I prayed for your wisdom and your guidance. Psalm 19 tells me of your creation. The wonder and majesty that you have wrought for us. Like your creation you are everywhere. You are glorious. Like the sun, nothing can hide from you. I asked you for strength, you direct me to your teachings. I ask for your wisdom, and you tell me that your rules make the plain wise. Following your rules and your commandments will give joy and light the way forward. I can hide nothing from you. You know everything that I have done, the good and the bad. You know all my thoughts and feelings. Like David, I pray that you forgive me for my secret sins. Keep me from my sins of pride, I know they are many. Do not let me be ruled by my pride.
Are you guiding me here? Shall I shelve my pride and reach out to Christa? Do I offer help? How? Help me to put aside my dislike, my mistrust, my anger toward her. Help me reach out to her and you would have me do. Show me your way, Lord. Where else can I turn but to you? Who knows me so well but you? I cannot see my mistakes. I cannot see how I sin, but I know that I do. I separate myself from you. I offer you pieces, you want all of me. Humble me, take my pride. Help me to surrender my will to you.
I fear surrender. I fear to lose control. Even to the best, to the wisest guide, I want to be in charge, but I know that I steer all wrong. I do not know the way. I'm just going to get us into a mess. Take charge. Lead and I will do my best to follow.
Lord, you are my rock, the one who saves me.
Thank you Lord for all your blessings. For all your mercy. For your love.
Amen.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Psalm 127
Psalm 127 (The Message)
A Pilgrim Song of Solomon
1-2 If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks.If God doesn't guard the city,
the night watchman might as well nap.
It's useless to rise early and go to bed late,
and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don't you know he enjoys
giving rest to those he loves?
3-5 Don't you see that children are God's best gift?
the fruit of the womb his generous legacy?
Like a warrior's fistful of arrows
are the children of a vigorous youth.
Oh, how blessed are you parents,
with your quivers full of children!
Your enemies don't stand a chance against you;
you'll sweep them right off your doorstep.
I neglected my time with you this afternoon, God. I was busy, I made excuses. But I could not sleep. My mind is fretful and full of busy thoughts and worries. I pray that you will give me rest that I can wake and be a blessing to my husband and children, truly the greatest blessings you have bestowed upon me.
I do not always feel blessed by my children, there are times when they seem an imposition and an endless source of frustration. But they are truly blessings. I understand better your love for me in the love I have for them.
Thank you, God, for all of your blessings to me. Thank you for my children, for my husband who has worked so hard for us. Thank you for our home, and for all that we have. Help us to have faith in you and your provision. Help us to follow more closely your path for us. Give us peace that we may find true rest in you.
I feel so far from you tonight. So tired. I love you, even though I am not as faithful as I ought to be. I love you, and I desire to have that close relationship with you. Help me to be faithful. Build my house and guard my city so that I know I am secure and cared for.
All praise to you, the God who watches over us, cares for us, provides for us.
Amen.
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Isaiah 58: 9-11
9. Then you will call out, and the Lord will answer. You will cry out, and he will say: "Here I am."
9b. "If you stop making trouble for others, if you stop using cruel words and pointing your finger at others, 10. If you feed those who are hungry and take care of the needs of those who are troubled, then your light will shine in the darkness and you will be bright like sunshine at noon."
I held my Bible in my lap and asked for guidance. What did you want me to see today? What was I to learn? Show me the wisdom in your words. And I realize. I called out. I cried out. And you have answered. "Here I am." I asked, what do I need to learn? What do I need to see? And you have spelled it out plainly. Stop making trouble, stop using cruel words and pointing my finger. Feed the hungry, take care of others.
I confess, God, that I have been cruel to people, and that I point my finger in judgment and condemnation more than I want to admit. I worry more about who will care for me than I do about caring for others. But you will care for me. You have provided for me and my family when I have failed to ask you. When I have failed to honor you. Whatever we have needed, you have provided. And I am afraid we have been terribly selfish with your generosity.
11. The Lord will always lead you. He will satisfy your needs in dry lands and give strength to your bones. You will be like a garden that has much water, like a spring that never runs dry.
Thank you, Lord, for your wisdom. Thank you for your guidance. You will always lead me, you will always show me the way if I just listen for your voice. Thank you for your provision, for your care. Help me to place my trust in you. Help me to speak kind words and see others through your eyes. Help me cultivate a spirit of generosity and love so that your light will shine in the world.
In your son's holy name,
Amen.
9b. "If you stop making trouble for others, if you stop using cruel words and pointing your finger at others, 10. If you feed those who are hungry and take care of the needs of those who are troubled, then your light will shine in the darkness and you will be bright like sunshine at noon."
I held my Bible in my lap and asked for guidance. What did you want me to see today? What was I to learn? Show me the wisdom in your words. And I realize. I called out. I cried out. And you have answered. "Here I am." I asked, what do I need to learn? What do I need to see? And you have spelled it out plainly. Stop making trouble, stop using cruel words and pointing my finger. Feed the hungry, take care of others.
I confess, God, that I have been cruel to people, and that I point my finger in judgment and condemnation more than I want to admit. I worry more about who will care for me than I do about caring for others. But you will care for me. You have provided for me and my family when I have failed to ask you. When I have failed to honor you. Whatever we have needed, you have provided. And I am afraid we have been terribly selfish with your generosity.
11. The Lord will always lead you. He will satisfy your needs in dry lands and give strength to your bones. You will be like a garden that has much water, like a spring that never runs dry.
Thank you, Lord, for your wisdom. Thank you for your guidance. You will always lead me, you will always show me the way if I just listen for your voice. Thank you for your provision, for your care. Help me to place my trust in you. Help me to speak kind words and see others through your eyes. Help me cultivate a spirit of generosity and love so that your light will shine in the world.
In your son's holy name,
Amen.
Conversations
I have conversations with a variety of people every day. Some in person, some through the modern miracle that is the internet. In a conversation with my small group yesterday I realized that I have the means to spend time with God every day, and to record what I discover and feel. I'm already a writer, and frequently I write because I feel that I am compelled to do so, but it had never occurred to me to set aside a special place for recording the time I spend with God.
Of course, this means that I must work on being faithful to that time and setting it aside each day. I am hopeful that this blog will help me be accountable in that respect. Our small group has been studying a wonderful book called "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl" by Lysa Terkeurst, and in it she talks about journaling during the time she spends with God each day. And I thought: "Hey! I can do that. I should do that." So here I am, getting ready to do that. Here I am, Lord. Ready to be more faithful, to be more open, to learn more of who you are and what you're doing in my life and what you want me to do.
Of course, this means that I must work on being faithful to that time and setting it aside each day. I am hopeful that this blog will help me be accountable in that respect. Our small group has been studying a wonderful book called "Becoming More Than a Good Bible Study Girl" by Lysa Terkeurst, and in it she talks about journaling during the time she spends with God each day. And I thought: "Hey! I can do that. I should do that." So here I am, getting ready to do that. Here I am, Lord. Ready to be more faithful, to be more open, to learn more of who you are and what you're doing in my life and what you want me to do.
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